What emotions are and are not - part 1

Emotions can be both the best thing about being a human being and the worst all at the same time. Am I right? It can make life so much lighter and easier when one feels positive emotions like love, satisfaction, security or being needed. On the flip side it can make days seem so much longer and heavier when one is bogged down with negative emotions like sadness, worry, discouragement or rejection. It’s in the negative emotions when we have a tendency to allow the feelings to define us and we become those feelings. We even use expressions like “I am depressed” or “I am anxious”, but should we be defined by emotions? Spoiler alert, no, this is a bad idea and does not go well, yet it happens so often.

Let's look at an example. Let’s say someone is struggling with social anxiety and they say things like, “I am awkward socially”. Obviously, in this statement, the feelings are being allowed to become the identity. The problem is, if it is your identity, then there is no changing it. It’s like any other physical trait one has like height, or eye color. It is what it is, unfortunately. But this is not true when it comes to feelings. Feelings do not always equal truth. Just because feel something, does not make it true or fact or unchangeable. You may feel awkward in social settings, but that does not mean that you are awkward. Feelings can be worked through, overcome and even changed, but the first step towards that is recognizing that emotions are not truth and nor a part of your identity.

Take a quick inventory of yourself. Where are you allowing the feelings to define you? Where are you resigned to whatever you are feeling? Make a list without judgment. Remember, emotions are not who you are, nor are they necessarily truth. Then check back here for another post that will help define what emotions are and what to do with them.