The Value in Saying No

One thing that can be extremely challenging within the warmer months is the amount of plans and obligations that come along with it. From dinners, to play dates, to parties and more, it can seem like your summer may get wasted by the amount of plans one has. While plans can be fun and exciting, it can also cause a large amount of stress and frustration based on the time and energy one has to participate in these events. But why? Should time spent with others lead to stress or to a way to fuel oneself up and gain enjoyment? Let's look at some ways in which we can get used to saying the word "no" to better care for ourselves and our mental well beings. 

Saying "no" can be very challenging for many people due to the fears of how others will perceive you for implementing the boundary. How can one eliminate these feelings of discomfort and guilt? By reframing what the word "no" means. Oftentimes, when utilizing the word no one may think of it as being harsh or harming others. Instead, how can we look at this as a way to care for ourselves. One thing I believe is helpful is asking ourselves " do I have enough fuel in my cup to partake in these plans and activities?". If the answer is yes, enjoy the time spent with others. If the answer is no, implement the boundary to care for yourself. If we change thoughts to look at how the word no assists us compared to how it may disappoint others this can assist with implementing large amounts of guilt that may form as a result. 

Next, we need to start prioritizing how to begin valuing and caring for ourselves compared to only being focused on others. This can sound very extreme, especially if one has more helping tendencies. While it is amazing to have a heart for serving and helping others, how are we supposed to fully support others if we are not supporting ourselves as well? The more we care for ourselves, the more capable we will be to serve and invest time in others. The less we care for ourselves, the less we will be able to invest in others due to our low state of mind.

Remember, you are just as important as others. In times of stress and low energy levels, it is okay to set the boundary to reset ourselves to be able to fully partake in time with others. It can just take one "no" to assist with gaining the time and energy you need to refuel and partake in the day to day activities this summer.

Written by: Jordan Allen